My Website

Well, after a lot of hard work and frustrating moments my website is finally done. I'm excited about this fot two reasons.
(1) I no longer have to work on it... I'm done, through, finished.
(2) It is a great way to communicate my abilities in design and other medias to prospective employers and clients.

In my Interpersonal Communications class we have discussed a little bit about how the internet has affected or improved communication. My website portfolio is a good example of the way the internet has improved communication. What used to take much printing, a scheduled interview, and a lengthy explanation can now be summed up, or at least introduced, by poking around a person's website.

Go ahead and check mine out. www.brittanybarney.com.

Self disclosure... wait what is that?

Imagine this. You are sitting at the library, or some equivocal public place, when a stranger sits down to your left. They seem normal, you have no expectations of strangeness or awkwardness, they may even introduce themselves in a perfectly acceptable manner. You think nothing of it right? But then... THEN the waterfall starts. They start spewing personal information and you don't want to hear any of it.

They start with their class load, still acceptable. Then they move on to their church activities for the week, a bit of an over-share. Next its their love life followed by their family problems and by the time you've finish listening to their story about the power ranger toy they lost in the third grade at their best friend Brad's house after their schoolboy crush ripped their heart apart in language arts, you are considering faking ill to get away from the intruder.
You were just trying to do your homework. You had no intention of things getting out of hand. No intention whatsoever of spending 45 minutes listening to useless personal facts about a person that you didn't even know an hour earlier. What went wrong here? What is the problem?

I argue that the issue here is self disclosure... or lack there of. Self disclosure is an interesting topic. These days it seems, to me, that either you can't get a person to open up to you or you cant keep them from exploding their life stories all over your new shirt or filling your backpack with with uninvited personal info.

Self disclosure, by definition, is an intentional sharing of personal information that the other person doesn't already know. I lobby that we be a self disclosing people but that we keep our self disclosure for the people we are close to. We don't need to tell our "bidness" to the poor unsuspecting people sitting next to us at the library, on the subway, or in the line at the grocery store. Lets be honest... they don't want to hear it. Instead take that time and energy and get to know your kids, your mom, or your best friend from high school a little better. They are the people who care about those kinds of things. They want you to share and to share with you in return.

Conflict or Contention?

A very important part of communicating well is dealing with conflict. I have had to do this a little more frequently in my life these days and I think its important to remember a few things. First we need to realize that conflict and contention are different things. Conflict is content oriented and is something we cannot avoid while contention is something personal that we bring to the communication. In class today I gained a better understanding of the different subjects. I saw that often we human beings bring contention into our conflicts. This is where things get hairy. Here is a very real example of the consequences that being contentious can bring.



I also learned that there are many different ways to handle conflict. I definitely need to remember this in my dealings with others. I sometimes just assume that everyone deals with things like I do when, in fact, that assumption is false. I could definitely be more understanding to others' ways of addressing conflict.

Let us all think twice about how we are dealing with conflict. And remember that contention is not part of conflict... contention is of the DEVIL.

I hate this...

I just want to put it out there that I hate this blog assignment, it has caused me more grief than originally intended. But I do like this video. Enjoy.

I'm doing terribly

Ok, so I really stink at remembering to post about gratitude everyday. So here is a post that will count for the whole weekend.

number one - the sabbath. thank you, Jesus, for this lovely day of replenishment and rest.

number two - katie grinder. always strong, always dependable, always a good example.

number three - jessica sloan. the most unique individual i know. probably the greatest person in the world.

i am grateful for.....

number one - last night after I went to a movie with a a good friend of mine we happened to catch a rare sight. Across the parking lot in the fluorescent light of a small frozen yogurt place there was a young lady kneeling down. What, pray tell, was she kneeling for? She just happened to be on her knees passionately kissing her wheelchair bound significant other. That's right. We caught them making out in the parking lot. Her on her knees and him in his wheelchair. I am thankful for that rare vision. As my roommate said- that's something that you don't see very... well ever.

number two - the delicious smelling soap in my bathroom. not only does this soap clean my hands and kill many germs but it also keeps my hands smelling nicely. Delicious.

number three - my friend Tyler Beus. He has made me so happy these last couple of days and I really needed that. Also, he is the one that shared the wheelchair incident above with me. How could I not be grateful for that?

Gratitude

So, my Aunt Karla, a very kindred spirit indeed, has been posting on her blog three things each day that she is grateful for. I'm not sure how long this is going to last for her, but I have decided to do it for a week. Hopefully I can remember to post every day...

number one - my sister Colby
She has always been there for me. But I guess that's her only option because she's my little sister and we both came a few years later than the rest of the kids. The last couple of weeks life has been hard and she has been right there living it with me even though she lives about 60 miles away. I am so grateful to her for coming to visit and for caring about me.

number two - my roommates
Ok, so it's not appropriate for testimony meetings but I think that being grateful for your roommates is very appropriate for a gratitude post on my blog. These eight girls have made my semester so much happier. They are always willing to be silly and absurd with me, and most of the time their harebrained ideas are more out there than mine. My favorite part about my roommates? Each of them has a strong testimony and is a great example to me. I can always depend on them for smart, honest advice and I really appreciate that.

number three - my targhee pass
This year I went all out. I bought a new snowboard, new boots, and a pass to Grand Targhee. Now, I haven't always been a huge snowboarder but last winter I hung out with the Targhee crowd in my singles branch and they definitely got me back in to it. Im so excited for the freedom that this $200, credit card sized, goofy pictured pass will give me on the weekends this winter. I never thought I'd say it, but PRAY FOR SNOW.

And Nothing Shall Offend Them

I have an older sister who has become less active. Over the last 12 years she has gone to church on and off and I believe, nay I know, that she still has a small but strong glimmer of a testimony left in her heart. As I recently read Elder David A. Bednar's conference talk, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," I couldn't help but to think about my older sister. She has made some hard choices in her life and the people around her have mistreated her and judged her wrongfully and left her feeling offended. Because of her stubbornness she remains offended.

Now I'm not sure if anything I could ever say to my sister could help her, but I am constantly trying to live my life as a good example to her and her kids. After some thinking I have decided that there are other people in my life that I can influence. I can do little things everyday to help my roommates, classmates, and friends not to be offended. One of which is to not offend them. The second great commandment given us from the Lord is to love our fellow men. If we strive to love all of our fellow men we will reduce the hurt and offense in the world. This is a small way we can help others.

I pray that I can search out those who have been offended and as Elder Bednar said, "extend the invitation to once again worship." I also pray that I can have the spirit of the Lord with me in my life so that I can choose not to be offended and remain strong in my testimony of the true gosple.

Let me assure you, friend, every day is ice cream and chocolate cake

Can I just start out by saying that I love the gospel? I love attending a school where it is a common experience for a person to feel the spirit in classes everyday. And how awesome is it to be able to apply the things being learned in class and through the spirit to your everyday life?

I'll let you in on a little secret, it's awesome.

Just yesterday I had a lovely experience with being someone's significant other*.

I have a friend named James. A few things you should know about my friend James: He is recently 31 years old, he has lived in the same house his whole life (excepting his mission and college), he has a successful career and many friend, he is single, shy, and loves horses, motor-biking, hobby farming, snowmobiling, fixing cars, and doing very dangerous things. He is essentially a 31 year old kid. And in the time I have known James I have never considered myself to be a great example or influence in his life.

Saturday James had his birthday. The big 3-1. On Sunday I called him to wish him a slightly belated happy birthday and inquire about the festivities the previous day. I thought nothing of it. After a few minutes of lively banter and laughter we said our goodbyes and that was that.

Later, as I lay in bed, I received a text message from James informing me that my phone call had brightened his otherwise blue day and my friendship has always been uplifting and important to him. Now this isn't a huge deal. It isn't even an uncommon experience. But it was amazing and influential and strengthening to both parties involved.

Today in class we talked about self concept and how our individual self concepts are formed by reflected appraisal, social comparison, and significant others. My favorite part of the discussion was when Brother Embry took the time to point out that as we participate in the formation of other's self concepts, we must listen and recognize the promptings from the spirit and how they can direct us to help the people in our lives. I thought it was so amazing and testimony strengthening that the previous day I had an experience that was applicable and relevant to our class discussion.

Once again let me say, I love attending a school where it is a common experience for a person to feel the spirit in classes everyday.

And on that thought, adieu.

*This portion of my blog is for the people who are not involved in, or don't pay attention to, my interpersonal communications class. If you see italicized words or phrases within the text, please refer to the bottom of the post where the definitions or explanations can be found.

Significant other - A person whose opinion and influence we especially value

Self Concept - The relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself

Reflected appraisal - The idea that we believe ourselves to be what other people say we are

Social comparison - Comparing ourselves to others and basing our perceptions of ourselves on them

Mail. It was called mail.

JOE FOX: You wrote her letters?

SCHUYLER FOX: Mail. It was called mail.

NELSON FOX: (fondly nostalgic and kidding it slightly) Stamps. Envelopes.

JOE FOX: You know, I think I've heard of it.

I've always been a lover of two things. Movies and mail. Knowing this, it's easy to understand why my favorite movie of all time is absolutely, positively, without question You've Got Mail. Along with witty dialogue and great actors such as Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, and Dave Chapellle, You've Got Mail is the perfect blend of my two favorite kinds of communication.

But what has happened to mail these days? In my mind it's slowly on its way out the door, which might be the most unfortunate thing that could ever happen to the human race. What do you think about mail? Effective or ineffective? Does it have a place in our future world? Let me know because i think it's great. I think it's just got to stay around. The Lords loves his people too much to take such an exciting, lovely,simple pleasure away from us.